Lella Costa: 'Offered recipe for the couple that lasts'

«Today if you are seventy you have to look 50 and play 27 sports». Lella Costa rebels and reveals the secret of her marriage (also hers): 'The right man is the one who welcomes your previous story'. Then you need to know how to cultivate a project. But that's not enough

  lella-costa-today-46 Lella Costa

At the end of this chat, it is clear that Lella Costa should hold seminars. About feelings, about the couple. 70 years old recently, grandmother 'obviously stoned' of Tea, one year old, co-director of the Teatro Carcano in Milan ('Feminine exists, why not use it?'), on November 17 the actress will bring on stage Our souls at night based on Kent Haruf's novel of the same name. Costa is Addie, «a widow in her seventies who one evening calls her neighbor, Louis, and she asks him: wouldn't you like to come and sleep with me? No, she looks, it's not for the sex, it's for company. It's hard at night.'

Francesco Totti and Noemi Bocchi, the first official outing is in Dubai Francesco Totti and Noemi Bocchi, the first official outing is in Dubai

It's straight to the point, Addie.
“Everyone nudges each other thinking that in bed with Louis sparks sparks and she really doesn't give a damn. Because that's not the point.'

And which?
'The vicinity. The tenderness'.

The story of a mature love.
'Not only. It's the magic of every first meeting, the one that makes you stay there enchanted listening to the other. He is as good at 18 as he is at 90 ».

Is it harder to fall in love when you're not young anymore?
'It depends. There are those who remain alone and go trekking in Patagonia and those who want to fill that void».

There is shame of the body.
“Of course, but it is reinforced by any image of the beauty that surrounds us. Today, if you're 70, you have to look 50, play 27 sports, take hormones to the grave. But also not.'

And if we talk about eros?
“We should re-read Ecclesiastes: “There is a time for everything”. In the end, it turns and turns, sex is always that stuff there ».

How do you cultivate a love that is born?
«With projects. At any age.'

And if the projects are not there?
«Everything falls. The classic is the man who says “but I love you” while you are leaving him. A very slight delay, Paolo Conte would say».

Are women different?
«We navigate emotions better, but we know how to make spatial blunders. We want a companion present, tender, reliable, the one there with the curriculum in short, and in the end we lose our heads for someone who should go around with a skull on his forehead and the words 'seriously damages your health'».

Is it harder to fall in love today?
«No, it is more difficult to make a project. In our society, everything seems to be close at hand, but it escapes».

Virtual love.
«The virtual self. The narcissism of social media, of perfect bodies. I would like to say it to these guys: 'Look, loving isn't the photo, the thighs, the dress, that's it!'. But then I pass as a moralist…».

He turned 70. Is it a pass or does it change nothing?
«It is a confirmation that the time that remains is much less than what I have lived. And it annoys me, because I really like this thing here, what I experience in life».

Meanwhile, back on stage.
“But it won't be forever and I know it. Ecclesiastes, we said...'

What relationship does it have with memories?
'They're the most precious thing we have, if you don't lie to yourself.'

What do you mean?
«You know who remembers a finished love and puts it on an altar with lit candles thinking 'it would have been different with him'? No, that's not true.'

She has three daughters and has been married for more than 30 years. A conquest.
'And to think that I lead a nomadic life, I'm often elsewhere'.

Does elsewhere help or complicate?
'Help, help.'

What is the worst commonplace of feelings?
«The story that first love is never forgotten. It's the last one that matters.'

What lasts.
'The one you come to with all your history from before and it hugs you.'

Was that the case with your husband?
«When I met Andrea he was separated and I already had a four-year-old daughter. She told me: “I want to live with you. Not later, not later, not soon. Now'. Lots of stuff.'

What does it take to make a love last long?
'Ass. And then you have to want it. But more ass.'

Source: oggi.it