Maria De Filippi: 'I shy away from any form of addiction ... even from TV'

The Queen of TV has everything under control. Yet of herself she says: “I am instinctive and true, like animals”. Here she talks about her about her limits, about her motherhood, about her husband Maurizio Costanzo and about her pain that she 'locks up to go on'

  maria-de-filippi-cover-33 The queen of private TV, between son and husband, on a boat and in their home Photo Video

Ansedonia, Tuscan coast, at 7 am on a Sunday in August. Two beaches that border: one on the north-west side overlooking the Argentario and the other, south-east, overlooking Capalbio. Two like the dachshunds, Giovanni and Filippa, who welcome us kind and cautious at the entrance of a secluded villa. Wrapped in the silence and peace of a dawn that has just given way to the early hours of the day - Photo | video 1 | video 2

'Please, take a seat. I make way for her ». Short shorts, white t-shirt, blonde hair fresh from the shower that frame an enveloping and shy smile. Maria De Filippi, 60 years old in December, is of a tone that rivals the most famous zumba instructors in circulation. 'Mrs. Maria, excuse the impudence, but you live and natural is truly remarkable.' Maria laughs heartily and then suddenly, almost embarrassed, glosses over: 'Would you like a coffee before starting our interview?'. The two dachshunds follow her like a shadow and do not take their eyes off her. Not even when she puts the mocha machine on the induction cooker.

Give me the contact details of the devil with whom you have come to terms to remain eternally young. 'Nothing Mephistophelic! I owe my fitness only to sports. A constant of mine since I was a young girl. Gymnastics has always been part of my life. Do you think that my mother, in order to get me out of the box because I was breaking, sent me an hour to tennis and an hour to swim a day and even enrolled me in the Coni where I did even the obstacle course twice a day '.

All this will certainly have strengthened her also from an emotional point of view by creating armor for her. 'Of course. Armor which, however, has never really made me immune from the 'obstacles' and from the real fears that life inevitably and ferociously throws in the face of each of us ».

Or? «First of all for me the fear of death. I'm afraid of having the awareness of dying or of being forced to see the people I love return to the earth '.

Maria De Filippi and those special wishes from Maurizio Costanzo - guard

It is the cycle of life. “Rationally, I am aware of it, but I cannot accept it. Rather, I feel a sense of passive and inevitable resignation. Mixed with the anger and anger, at times childish, of those who suddenly find themselves powerless in diverting the course of events ».

Nobody can divert the current of the river. 'I know it. I am aware of this, but I still cannot find meaning in the idea of ​​the end without blaming life itself for not knowing how to provide us with the tools necessary to deal with its abandonment '.

What was your first real pain? “The death of my father. I was 30 and unprepared for this loss. A pain that has never really gone away. A grief that has never been overcome. I only put a cap on it. Just as I locked up and sent a closet to my house with all my mother's dearest things when she left us ».

Will he ever reopen that wardrobe? 'No. I really do not think so. I plug and lock the pain to move on. It is my way to face the future. The only one I know '.

In Quelli che restano, De Gregori sings: «We will have dreams like lighthouses, those who look at a specific star in the midst of millions…». What dreams do you have? «I dream of taking life more lightly. Not to feel the weight of the responsibilities that I have taken on at work with such intrusiveness. Sometimes I imagine I have no more commitments. No expiration. Fantastic to be free from what I myself have, perhaps without ever really realizing it, built up ».

Many families depend on her. La di lei is a company with hundreds of employees. «I know, I am aware and proud of it. I will never betray their trust and as long as I have strength and breath I will fight for them. For us. And for those who benefit from the product of our work. But know that I do not feel the owner of anything. If anything, only my choices. '

Again, De Gregori: «We are the ones who remain. And that stagger on their dancing heels… ». Have you ever lost your balance in life? “I have always fought to preserve it. I don't like losing touch with reality. I have constantly tried to pursue stability and to fight all forms of addiction. I shy away from what could exercise any control over my freedom ».

Give us some examples. “At 20 I remember an evening in Courmayeur. I went to the disco with my company. We had a few drinks to dance more freely and make some noise, nothing particularly serious. But when in the morning in the bar of the one who ran the nightclub I was asked if I wanted a correct coffee, I decided that perhaps it was better to find in myself the strength and the desire to go dancing just for the pleasure of dancing. It was not a moral or moralistic question. I simply understood that I was not made to depend on something ».

Maria De Filippi and Maurizio Costanzo, a love lasting 25 years (and a son) - photo story

Other addictions that he put a stop to? “I detested and over the years also my addiction to TV series. I was bulimic. But when we reached the 30th episode, the decisive one, the so-called ones turned me around when I realized that the ending didn't really exist because the last scene was just an assist for the next series '.

But he never gave up on cigarettes. 'You are wrong. Now I only smoke two a day. One after lunch and the other after dinner. Do you know why? Some time ago I accompanied a person I love very much to the hospital for a very delicate operation. As a good hypochondriac I took the opportunity to do some checks. The umpteenth. I was diagnosed with a polyp in the vocal cords. I went haywire and drove hundreds of kilometers to be visited in the middle of August by one of the greatest luminaries on the subject. Thankfully it was a benign but potentially dangerous condition if I continued to smoke. I suddenly decided to stop ».

Maria De Filippi tells Raffaella Carrà about when she adopted her son Gabriele - video interview

From what defect she has not yet freed herself 'From the obstinacy of my patience.'

Meaning what? 'Patience often coincides with my inability to express dissent in a direct and dry way with respect to positions that I do not find in agreement with the interlocutor on duty. In this way, however, I become a kind of time bomb. When I am full, I burst out vehemently, perhaps even going to the wrong side. Then I regret because I realize that I have exaggerated and I am saddened by the displeasure I create in those who have expressed my dissent ».

Tell us some experiences. «A similar situation happened to me just a few days ago while recording an episode of the next edition of You are worth it . A gentleman showed up with some of his paintings: he wanted to show them on television but pretended to have come to give human help to an editor. At that precise moment I felt used, made fun of, I saw bad faith. I got mad like never before on TV. Then I repented and even felt guilty for the reaction I had. I hate losing control. You will see everything because everything will go on the air ».

Maria De Filippi like one of us: shopping at the supermarket is like a good housewife - guard

But she has 'the watchful, attentive and wild gaze of animals'. “Yes, I am wild, instinctive and true. Just like animals. It is no coincidence that I have always lived in symbiosis with my dogs. They are the most beautiful, greatest and 'inhuman' love stories I've ever lived. People are capable of intorting me. I have been so many times. I am moved by those who ask me for help by unraveling the dramas they are going through. I always believe in it and when I discover that I have been duped I get furious. But only with myself. Animals, on the other hand, unlike men, do not know lies ».

When you look back what do you see? «A woman who has made a professional dream come true. A person who has many frailties but of which she is finally aware. A human being who, out of empathy and curiosity, listens to the other '.

Maurizio Costanzo, her husband, has always declared that he wants her hand to shake his in the last moment. «I confess that I do not know if I will be capable of it, if I will have the strength and the courage to offer him my hand that day there. Too much pain. I don't want the intertwining of those fingers to remain as my last memory '.

Maternity? She and Costanzo adopted a son. «A complex and at the same time wonderful experience. A great responsibility and a human adventure that is pure love. But also crossed by a bit of suffering, the one that is experienced in facing the detachment from someone who is no longer your child because in the meantime he has become a man '.

When was the last time you went to a pizzeria with friends? 'The last pizzas I ate I ordered and consumed at home, simple margherita pizzas.'

We managed not to talk about TV. But television is his job and work occupies an important part of his daily life. Is it true that you have acquired the rights to the reality game La Talpa? «I take this opportunity to clarify a news that has not been reported correctly. The rights to this program did not buy my production company but Mediaset. Pier Silvio ( Berlusconi , ed) he simply called me asking me to put down some ideas to update the format. We are still at an embryonic stage of the project ».

A curiosity: what do you think of the Totti-Blasi separation? “I'm only sorry for what their three children have inevitably suffered and will suffer from the echo of the media tsunami triggered by the separation. On the other hand, this is life! Everything begins and everything ends ».
Alberto Dandolo